The Gift of Everything

"You do not ask too much of life, but far too little." -- A Course in Miracles

I have read the above quote for years, and have known that it does not refer to the things and people of life. But only this morning did my ears open to hear this in a new light. I was watching the rising sun enter a cold and barren world of 4 degrees. The sunlight revealed that the bitter cold had gilded everything with hoar frost, a shining world of crystalline beauty. I watched in awe and appreciation. And I somehow knew in that moment what the above quote refers to.

All my life I have wanted to be all-in-all... to audiences, to mates, to children, to friends... I have wanted to be the best at what I do, and be valued and cherished... and when I perceived myself as not being the best, at not being all-in-all, I walked away. I have had a contrary, competitive streak that didn't die easily. And it has often been all or nothing with me. I have wanted to be all-in-all to someone or as someone. Same difference.

What I saw in that shining moment this morning was that I had it all backwards... I have never really wanted to be someone in this world... it's just that I believed, as all of us do, that this is the most we can aspire to. The sane part of us knows we are destined for something more than what appears to be. I have not really wanted to be all-in-all to anyone, or even to everyone... I simply misinterpreted the longing. What I have always really wanted, what I have always longed to remember, is that I AM All-in-All.

How often have we claimed we just want to be loved for who we are? Or insisted that we love someone or something just the way they are, and called that unconditional love? We have imagined ourselves to be flawed and broken and imperfect and vulnerable... and in true upside down and backwards fashion, this is what we imagine needs to be loved. It's as if we are holding masks up to our faces and complaining because no one loves how we look! Complaining that no one loves the mask. And when some imagined someone plays the dream game with us and claims to love the mask and declares their devotion to it, we can't understand why we feel so anxious and dissatisfied. What a set-up!

ACIM puts it this way: "If you have the gift of Everything, can loss be real?" Since we live and move and have our Being in God, in the One, can anything other than All-in-All exist? And could we ever be happy imagining ourselves as dependent on someone or something 'other' for our happiness and value? Could we ever be happy living a lie? No wonder all illusions fail... they are simply not true, and all thought-forms appear and are gone, with no real effects. Thank God.

We have all been dreaming, and the dream has been long. We have imagined ourselves as separate from one another, and tried to re-attach ourselves within the dream, over and over. These dreams will never end, and will continue to give rise to other dreams as long as we choose to focus on them as if they are real and remain asleep in the dream. But the Voice for Reality, Our True Self, calls to us even in the dream. We can listen to the Voice and follow it Home... we can listen and Awaken. And we always Awaken to the gift of Everything.

"The end of suffering can not be loss. The gift of everything can be but gain." -- A Course in Miracles