A Long Time Coming...

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All quotes today are from the Manual for Teachers in A Course in Miracles.  Where no reference is given, quotes are from section 10, "How is Judgment Relinquished?"

"And now must [you] attain a state that may remain impossible to reach for a long, long time.  [You] must learn to lay all judgment aside, and ask only what [you] really want in every circumstance." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 4, I, A, 7:7-8

Of course, time is an illusion.  What seems like a long time coming is just how it seems to us, as we cling to the remnants of personal judgment, guilt, and fear.  We cling to our personal judgments and conditioned self-image (which is nothing but a collection of judgments) because we think it is who we are... and it seems that giving up judgment would be the death of our identity and individuality.  In fact, the false identity keeps us blind to our true Self and individuality in God.

Every snowflake, every grain of sand is unique and individual... no two are ever the same.  And yet their only identity is in the collective.  A snowflake is nothing without the snowfall or the snowbank.  A single grain of sand is useless, but the sand dunes create shelter and habitat.  Each of us is unique, too, but not in the ways we imagine.  We each reflect God and only God in this world, each in a unique way that only has meaning within the Whole.  When we judge what we or anyone else should be, or what we should be doing or saying based on human perspectives (which are simply the memories we carry around as if they were true), we are projecting a false image over the face of Self... which is the face of Christ.

So how in the heck do we give up judgment?  How in the heck do we let go of who we think we are, or should be, or will be?  A Course in Miracles gives us clear direction:  "It is necessary... to realize not that he should not judge, but that he cannot.  In giving up judgment, he is merely giving up what he did not have.  He gives up the illusion; or better, he has an illusion of giving up.  He has actually become more honest.  Recognizing that judgment was always impossible [which of us could ever know or be aware of the full spectrum of possibilities or circumstances, past, present or future?], he no longer attempts it.  This is no sacrifice.  On the contrary, he puts himself in a position where judgment through him rather than by him can occur.  And this judgment [of the Holy Spirit] is neither 'good' nor 'bad'.  It is the only judgment there is, and it is only One: "God's Son is guiltless, and sin does not exist."     

Whenever we're confronted with decisions or problems, it may seem excruciatingly hard not to judge it 'practically'... but there is nothing practical about the world of suffering that arises from these false projections we call judgments.  Each of us will "lay it down happily the instant he recognizes the cost.  All of the ugliness he sees about him is its outcome.  All of the pain he looks upon is its result.  All of the loneliness and sense of loss; of passing time and growing hopelessness; of sickening despair and fear of death; all these have come of it [judgment].  And now he knows that these things need not be.  Not one is true.  For he has given up their cause, and they, which never were but the effects of his mistaken choice, have fallen from him.  Therefore lay judgment down, not with regret but with a sigh of gratitude.  Now are you free of a burden so great that you could merely stagger and fall down beneath it.  And it was all illusion.  Nothing more."

I am writing this blog today because giving up judgment has seemed to be a long time coming for me.  I thought I was a very judgmental person, even very recently.  I thought I had to struggle to somehow 'overcome' judgment.  But Grace has a way of correcting our false perceptions of ourselves in the unlikeliest of circumstances.  I am so grateful for every false judgment I ever thought I made... because I now know that it was all made up, including all self-judgment.  Every circumstance has become a happy dream, another way to remember God, and my Self.

"His sense of care is gone, for he has none.  He has given it away, along with judgment.  Now he makes no mistakes.  His Guide is sure.  And where before he came to judge, he comes to bless.  Where now he laughs, he used to come to weep." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 10, 5:7-13