The Undoing of What Never Was

"Salvation is undoing." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 31, Section VI, 2:1

"Perception has no function in God, and does not really exist.  Yet in salvation, which is the undoing of what never was, perception has a mighty purpose.  Healed perception becomes the means by which the Son of God forgives his brother, and thus forgives himself." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook 43, 2:2-3, 7

I'm experiencing a season of molting.  Like a bird shedding feathers that no longer serve, or perhaps more like a snake that sheds the skin that no longer fits.  It's an odd experience at times, disorienting and hazy, like everything's out of focus.  Of course, it is out of focus.  False projections and perceptions no longer serve the holy purpose of Awakening, and so they get fuzzy as they fall away.  They never were real, and their unreality is becoming more apparent.

There is a comforting awareness that as I become less, the Truth of Self becomes more apparent... or as St. Paul said, "I live... and yet not I, but Christ liveth in me."  The face of Christ can't be seen in me until the fiction of me subsides and dissolves the veil of illusion.  This dissolution of the false self, of the constellation of stories and mental constructs that I used to call 'me', is the ongoing process of salvation, which A Course in Miracles calls the Atonement.

What's interesting (to whom?) is that the fiction carries on, but in service to this Awakening.  I still appear the same.  I still have relationships with family and friends and lovers and clients who know little or nothing about this inner process, since I don't talk about it, and they're really not interested in that aspect of my life.  And anyway, what would I say to them?  I'm not who you think I am?  I'm not really here?  You're not either?  The very essence of this great undoing is that I don't have to decide what to say or to whom... I don't have to do anything.  I am lived and breathed and spoken and sung and loved and cherished.  I am happy, an unshakeable happiness that has nothing to do with anything, and yet it includes everyone and everything, including the seeming discomfort of the molting process called salvation.

The undoing of Mary, of what never was, is the happiest of fictions.  And who am I writing this to?  God only knows.  If you seem to be reading this, then you're probably experiencing the great undoing, too.  You may still be in the egoic, kicking and screaming phase.  But fear not... when peace and sanity return to your awareness (they never left!), you will rest in quiet joy, in the midst of the undoing of what never was.

"Salvation is undoing in the sense that it does nothing, failing to support the world of dreams and malice.  Thus it lets illusion go.  By not supporting them, it merely lets them quietly go down to dust.  And what was hidden is now revealed." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook Part II, 2. 3:1-4