All Loving and All Worthy

I have a human pattern of judging a situation and then feeling wrong, or then concluding that I'm not good enough for whatever.  I know this is a familiar story for some of you, too.  Human beings are always feeling bad about something, and either blaming self or someone else for the feelings.  But the Atonement reveals that even these feelings bear unexpected spiritual fruit.  When we're willing to suspend judgment through forgiveness, the still, small Voice of Truth is heard in the midst of the sadness, the anxiety, the hopelessness.  And it always returns the Mind to the Awareness of ever-present Joy.  It always reveals that the images of judgment are simply false.  The feelings the ego conjures have no meaning, because they have no substance.  They are simply not there.

"When you are sad, know this need not be.  Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something you want and do not have.  Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions, and then decide otherwise.  When you are anxious, realize that anxiety comes from the capriciousness of the ego, and know that this need not be.  You can be as vigilant against the ego's dictates as for them.  When you have given up this voluntary dis-spiriting, you will see how your mind can focus and rise above fatigue and heal.  Yet you are not sufficiently vigilant against the demands of the ego.  This need not be.  The problem is not one of concentration; it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort.  You are a mirror of Truth, in which God Himself shines in perfect Light.  To the ego's dark glass you need but say, "I will not look there because I know these images are not true."  Then let the Holy One shine on you in peace, knowing that this, and only this, must be." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 4, Section IV

So am I worth the time and attention it takes to reverse these human patterns?  Certainly not as I imagined myself, nor is anyone else that I've imagined worth the effort.  But Who AM I?  Christ appearing as me is far beyond any human measure of worth.  I AM worth consistent attention and effort, because I AM is the Truth about me and thus about all that Is.  I AM a mirror of Truth, where God shines in Perfect Light and Joy.  Only this IS.  As the Course says, "This, and only this, must be."

I was reading a transcript of a workshop given three decades ago by Herb Fitch, and this passage transported me: “Whenever you are reverting to the opinion that you are a human being, you’re blocking the Light, you’re blocking the Voice.  The Voice does not come except where there is purity.  And purity means not a divided concept of matter and Spirit.  So please examine your deeper feelings and know that you are not both Christ and a human being.  You are not both Spirit and a human being.  You are pure Spirit, Christ and no other. The greatest thing I have is the assurance that I and the Father are One. If I and the Father are One that means I am not human.  I must learn how to accept this in the quietness of my own Being, resting there, waiting for the inner impulse that tells me Who I AM, feeling the nature of my true Being and trusting what I feel and hear enough to LIVE it, and act upon it. ” – Herb Fitch

So purity means not having a split mind, not seeing the projected concepts of separate bodies and separate things we call matter as if they were the truth.  Because we cannot see two worlds.  We are unable to know Self as Infinite, as Pure and Perfect Spirit, as long as we believe in the limited forms we call matter.  Knowing Who I AM means knowing I am not both Christ and a human being.  And if I and the Father are One, there is nothing but Spirit.  Consistent effort is needed only to return my attention to this Awareness in my own Being.  I must remember Who I really AM, and that I AM worth it.  There are no human beings here.  Only the Christ We Are and Our Infinite Expressions.  All Loving and All Worthy.

THIS is the Glory

"You are not saved from anything [there is nothing but God], but you are saved for glory [the extending of the Light of God that we are].  Glory is your inheritance, given you by your Creator that you might extend it." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 11, Section IV, 1:4-5 (brackets hold the whispers of Holy Spirit about this quote)

Last night I dreamed about a trio of friends, a girl and two boys.  They were part of some much larger community, a typical hierarchical organization of some sort, which was transitioning from an old building and format to a much newer building and organization.  It was a big deal, with a new head administrator and gala celebration in the works.  And as in all group situations, everybody wanted to be in charge, everybody had personal ideas and preferences, and everybody had an agenda.  Somehow (in the way of dreams) my characters decided to kill off the new administrator and take his place, since no one really knew him yet.  The ringleader took on that appearance and persona, with the other two going along and making sure everyone believed it.  Then ensued a series of such ‘take-overs’, where one of them would kill someone else off and morph into that appearance and persona to take their place.  I kept wanting to wake up, but felt powerless to do so until the impostors were somehow ‘safe’.  I kept hoping they would just be happy with what they had done, but they kept it up until they started killing each other off to be in charge.  I only woke up when my dog-alarms woke me, and I felt hung-over and desperately bad and guilty, as if ‘I’ had been the one doing all the killing, posturing, and deception.  And of course, I had been the one.  What other one could there be? Whose mind dreamed this? 

The Course says in the Manual for Teachers that it takes great learning to understand that ALL things, events, encounters, and circumstances are helpful.  Our nightmares are gifts that bring the buried guilt to the Light to be forgiven.  What is the source of this guilt?  Nothing real, but a lifetime (or lifetimes) of believing the impossible… that we are separate and in competition with many others and with God.  Who knows how many dreams we have projected onto the screen of the sleeping mind, with casts of thousands of players, some seemingly innocent and some obviously guilty.  But all simply perpetuate this insane desire to kill off what gets in the way of our seeming preferences, and to cast as innocent our desire to do so.  All the while we are generating the smoke screen of many separate and sleeping parts, when there is only the One, and that One forever Awake and Aware.

This compulsion to create multiple forms and meanings and needs and versions is hell.  Heaven is the unified Awareness of our Eternal Self, the Oneness of Perfect Wholeness and Love without limits.  This is not boring sameness, but Infinite Creation, Infinite Bliss.  The extension of Love is Our only Purpose, and this Love has no object and no agenda.  It is eternally free and isn’t limited to or by imagined forms.  It doesn’t need to get rid of anything, or change anything, or keep anything. 

Every Sunday in my little church, we sing these words:
“Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.  As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be: World without end, AMEN, AMEN.”

Glory is the sheer joy of reveling in the Truth, the Source, the One, that shines and extends and includes ALL.

The Son is ALL that extends in and as the Awareness of that One.

The Holy Spirit is the extension of this Glory even within the dream, as the Awakening and Quickening of this Awareness.

This Glory, this ALLNESS, this Quickening of Awareness of Self is the only Purpose of every dream, whether by night or by day (because make no mistake, everything sensed with the body is a dream).  How is this Purpose lived?  By shedding every judgment, every preference, every personal agenda, every belief in limits and limitations of form.  THIS is true forgiveness and the Atonement.  THIS is the Glory.

Do Not Reconsider

"In everything be led by Him, and do not reconsider.  Trust Him to answer quickly, surely, and with Love for everyone who will be touched in any way by the decision.  And everyone will be.  Would you take unto yourself the sole responsibility for deciding what can bring only good to everyone?  Would you know this?" -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 14, Section III, 17:4-8

A friend asked why, when forgiveness is practiced, it sometimes seems to not be working... in other words, why there is still no peace with the situation, or why there is still fear, etc. The answer lies in the passage above... "In everything be led by Him, and do not reconsider."  All of us have the experience of going through the motions of forgiveness, of completely giving over the situation to Holy Spirit, and then continuing to think about it and what we will do.  This is reconsidering. 

This habit of reconsidering is so ingrained that it's easy to forget that you are choosing to do it.  Like all habits, it is a choice that has been relegated to the subconscious so it's automatic.  But like all choices, it can be brought to awareness, so you can change your mind.  It simply involves the choice to stay present with your own mind.

"You do not guard your thoughts carefully enough.  You are not used to miracle-minded thinking, but you can be trained to think that way.  All miracle workers need that kind of training.  Miracle working entails a full realization of the power of thought in order to avoid miscreation.  The miracle worker must have genuine respect for true cause and effect as a necessary condition for the miracle to occur." -- ACIM; Chapter 2, Section VII

Open your mind and heart to the Holy Spirit, the part of your Self that has never gone unconscious.  Give everything over to the Holy Spirit, which is your very own sane Christ Mind.  Let this Presence of pure Divine Love decide for you.  Let this Divine Love care for you.  Let this Divine Love take care of all the details.  And because it is your true Self, you will always know if there are actions to take or words to be spoken.  You can absolutely trust this Self, which is all-loving because it is pure Love.  This Love is You, the Holy Son of God. 

Reconsidering is a deliberate decision to forget Who You Are, in an attempt to maintain autonomy, to stay separate.   Never doubt the power of your own holy mind to choose... and it is really good at hiding.  When the Son of God chooses to hide, he convinces even himself that he is lost.  It reminds me of small children when they first learn to cover their face and play peek-a-boo.  When their face is covered, they are convinced no one can see them either!  Such is the power of the mind!

Only when we insist on reconsidering can we not experience the ever-present Peace and Joy forgiveness reveals.  Which really means we have still not made the decision to stop hiding.  Our Reality remains ever-present, simply awaiting our decision to Awaken.

"This is the only thing that you need do for vision, happiness, release from pain, and the complete escape from sin, all to be given you.  Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies:
          I am responsible for what I see.
          I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide
              upon the goal I would achieve.
         And everything that seems to happen to me
              I ask for, and receive as I have asked.
Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you.  Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all the effects of your mistakes will disappear." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 23, Section II, 2:1-7

Daily, Effortless, and Natural...

"Each day should be devoted to miracles." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 1, Section I, 15:1

Brushing my teeth is a daily, effortless and seemingly natural activity.  But it is actually a learned behavior, and it is obviously a bodily activity.  Nearly everything that is considered natural in our conditioned state is learned behavior associated with protecting or defending the body or a personal identity.  When A Course in Miracles tells us that miracles should be daily, effortless, and natural, it is not referring to learned or bodily activity.  The miracle is a state of mind that has always been here, unseen by the conditioned, sleeping mind.  It is the state of One-mindedness.  The recognition that there is only One that includes All, in perfect Love and perfect Security and Fulfillment. 

"Every loving thought the Son of God ever had is eternal.  The loving thoughts his mind perceives in this world are the world's only reality." -- A Course in Miracles, Chapter 11, Section VII, 2:1-2

Just as each day should be devoted to miracles, we're told that they are the natural, effortless expressions of the Love that we are.  It is because Love is really All there is, that all miracles are all the same.  All expressions of Love are maximal.  So there is no ordering or ranking in Love, only the outpouring, extending, embracing qualities that are so far beyond our conditioned notions of love.  The fact that we don't perceive or experience this daily is why forgiveness is our only purpose and function here within the dream we call life.  We forgive each dual meaning, each limiting perception, every limitation we have placed on any aspect of creation, and allow the miracle to be revealed.  It is always here, waiting only for our attention and willingness to let go of the mental obstacles we have cherished instead.

"The real world can actually be perceived.  All that is necessary is a willingness to perceive nothing else.  For if you perceive both good and evil, you are accepting both the false and the true and making no distinction between them.  The ego may see some good, but never only Good." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 11, Section VII, 2:6-8 & 3:1

Everything we see in our supposedly normal and natural state is divided.  There is always a flip side, a duality.  Even the good that we do, we do because we want to avoid what we believe is not good.  We equate protection and defense with love, though it is not.  If we are protecting and defending anything, it is because we think there is something 'other' to defend it from.  And there can never be two in perfect Love.  Only through unified vision, through the Awareness of the Oneness of Self can Love be known.

"The perception of Goodness is not knowledge, but the denial of the opposite of Goodness enables you to recognize a condition in which opposites do not exist.  And this is the condition of Knowledge. Without this awareness you have not met its conditions, and until you do, you will not know it is yours already." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 11, Section VII, 4:1-3

We are always forgiving duality.  Whenever we perceive something in opposition to something else, we forgive.  We bring to Awareness the compulsion or belief that is the origin of the duality we are perceiving.  And it dissolves in the Light of Awareness.  It was never there.  Only the miracle of Love remains.  This is our only purpose, regardless of the scripts our lives seem to follow.  The Real world is the forgiven world, seen through the unified eyes of Love.  Daily, effortless, and blessedly natural.

"The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 2, Section V, 5:1

Level Confusion: The Projected World

"2. A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct.  This sense of separation would never have arisen if you had not distorted your perception of Truth, and had thus perceived yourself as lacking.  The idea of order of needs arose because, having made this fundamental error, you had already fragmented yourself into levels with different needs.  As you integrate you become one, and your needs become one accordingly.  Unified needs lead to unified action, because this produces a lack of conflict. 
 3. The idea of orders of need, which follows from the original error that one can be separated from God, requires correction at its own level before the error or perceiving levels at all can be corrected.  You cannot behave effectively while you function on different levels.  However, while you do, correction must be introduced vertically from the bottom up.  This is because you think you live in space, where concepts such as 'up' and 'down' are meaningful.  Ultimately space is as meaningless as time.  Both are merely beliefs." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 1, Section VI, 2-3

The Projected World and the entire universe as we imagine it is simply mind-stuff, consciousness.  It all takes place in the mind and is seen as if it were ‘outside', making it the original virtual reality. But the appearing world is simply effect, a continual out-picturing of the mind’s desires, filtered through beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. The world has no objective reality... it is effect, not cause.

Even after you get in touch with the power of your own emotions and thoughts, you can believe things about your thoughts and feelings that aren’t true. Most people believe their thoughts are ineffectual or powerless, or that their feelings don't really matter, and so they are experienced as such.  We have been taught, and so believe, that the world mysteriously exists first and is thus the source and cause of our emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and ultimately, our desires.

There is little hope for real change in such a world where we have no control, and where the real cause remains mysterious. No wonder prayer as practiced by the world has no real effect. It is just a belief in magic, belief in a mysterious something outside ourselves and our world that may be called upon to rescue us. Forgiveness in such a world makes no sense, and has been mostly practiced out of a fear of an invisible, magical force that judges us.

Forgiveness as taught by A Course in Miracles is a belief too, because in the perfection of our True Self there is nothing to forgive.  We have never left the Mind of God.  But while we experience ourselves as split from Source, forgiveness has the power to release the false and hidden beliefs and blockages within the mind. This is the process of what the Course calls Atonement, the interlocking chain of forgiveness that is the correction for all false beliefs and thus erases their images or effects from the mind. Because the problem is not out there… it’s in the mind of the perceiver.

Atonement is the correction for false beliefs. When we practice true forgiveness and give our perceptions to the Holy Spirit for correction, we accept the Atonement and allow all layers of mind to be corrected, healed and aligned with Truth… so all that remains is Unification, One Mind, Wholeness. This is what Jesus called seeking first the Kingdom of God, and He promised that all else that we need will be given when this becomes our primary vocation in life.  The Course tells us plainly that forgiveness is our only function in the world (and that forgiveness, happiness, and joy are synonymous).

Why do we need forgiveness and the Atonement? Because we see the phenomenal world as the cause of our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs, and see our desires and prayers as attempts to countermand external causes.  Forgiveness is the reversal of the mind, where we discover happiness and joy as the core of our Being, and effortlessly radiate this state of mind outward,  to reflect only the Love that we are.

As we willingly accept the function of forgiveness as our only purpose here, we gradually shed the layers of indoctrinated belief, thought, and emotion. Yes, the world still appears to be here.  But as we become clear of the images generated by false beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, we reflect only the Light of Truth, the Light of Love, the Light of the One Mind rather than the lie of fear and separation. This is what the Course calls the Happy Dream of the Holy Spirit, which is the earthly experience of Awakening and Enlightenment. Level confusion has vanished in the unified Awareness of Self.  We now hear only One Voice, think only the thoughts of the One Mind, and so reflect this Light on earth, as it is in the Heaven of Enlightened Awareness.

"Heaven is not a place nor a condition.  It is merely an Awareness of perfect Oneness, and the knowledge that there is nothing else; nothing outside this Oneness, and nothing else within." -- A Course in Miracles; 18, VI, 1:5-6

ACIM Teleclass every Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. Central time.  For call-in number and access code, click here.

Enlightenment

"There are those who have reached God directly, retaining no trace of worldly limits and remembering their own Identity perfectly.  These might be called the Teachers of teachers because, although they are no longer visible, their image can yet be called upon.  No one can call upon them in vain." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 26. 2:1-2, 5

"Sometimes a teacher of God may have a brief experience of direct union with God.  In this world, it is almost impossible that this endure.  If God were reached directly in sustained awareness, the body would not be long maintained.  Those who have laid the body down merely to extend their helpfulness to those remaining behind are few indeed.  And they need helpers who are still in bondage and still asleep, so that by their awakening can God's Voice be heard." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 26. 3:1-2, 8-10

Yesterday a friend and I were talking about enlightenment... about the tendency to look for teachers, gurus, for someone who gets it and knows more than we do.  Maybe even someone whose state of consciousness can be directly transmitted to us, like taking a pill, or being given all the answers.

I remember in the late 60's and early 70's when I was reading Alan Watts and experimenting with hallucinogens to experience God.  I had some amazing openings, and it did indeed change my life.  I experienced enlightenment more times than I can say.  And yet it seemed that I couldn't stay there.  Taking a pill can give us a glimpse.  Being in the presence of an enlightened teacher can give us a glimpse.  But it's not a glimpse of something we have to attain or somewhere we have to go.  It's a glimpse of our True Self... always here and always readily available.

So why do I say I couldn't stay there?  Why after we leave the retreat do we fall back into old ways of seeing and believing?  Because an awareness of Self requires the conscious relinquishment of perception and sensory data.  Taking a pill or being in a holy place can give us a glimpse of what is always here... but we can only see it by giving up the false.  This is why the Course says that these glimpses are almost impossible to maintain here in the dream we call life.  The sensory data and the collective beliefs are seen as necessary and even good (really, they're neither good nor bad... just all made up).  The conscious choice, which must be continuous, to shed all such judgments and perceptions... well, as Jesus would have put it, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.  Not because it's hard... illusions aren't easy or hard, big or little... but because we have a vested interest in the world we walk in.  It's our dream.  As ACIM puts it: "I have done this, and this I would undo."

So here we are.  We can call on the image of our enlightened Self, in the form of Jesus or Buddha or Quan Yin or a host of others.  These images will always respond, because they are not anywhere but in us.  They are the Voice and image of Self in a language we can currently hear and respond to.  This is not the same as looking outside of ourself, to pills or physical gurus, to save us.  The images of Self we find within, like the Voice of the Holy Spirit, ARE Self.  A Self so vast and loving and perfect that tears of joy and gratitude are often shed as we remember, however briefly.

Finally, the Course reminds us: "Do not despair, then, because of limitations.  It is your function to escape from them, but not to be without them.  If you would be heard by those who suffer, you must speak their language.  If you would be a savior, you must understand what needs to be escaped." 

Enlightenment, the remembering of Self, requires the conscious shedding of the false self we have constructed.  This is the interlocking chain of forgiveness that A Course in Miracles calls the Atonement Principle.  Perfection and Radiance is the Truth at the heart of it all.  Everything else is only for forgiving. 

Blessing or Curse?

"The mind can think it sleeps, but that is all.  It cannot change what is its waking state.  It cannot make a body, nor abide within a body.  What is alien to the mind does not exist, because it has no source.  For mind creates all things that are, and cannot give them attributes it lacks, nor change its own eternal, mindful state.  It cannot make the physical.  What seems to die is but the sign of mind asleep." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook 167, 6:1-7

I've been reflecting on what I seem to be seeing and hearing from people around me... stories of struggle with what is really happening or what is really true, with spiritual paths, with physical symptoms, with sticky relationship problems.  I know that all of it is my perception, and that nothing is as it appears.  And so I forgive and release these projections to Holy Spirit (which is another name for my True Self), ask for healed perception, and accept the healing of Atonement.  And as I do, I'm led to reflect on the blessing (or curse?) of this.  To the world around me, including clients, family and most friends, this non-dual view of the world would seem a curse... because I am no longer apparently in alignment with any popular thought-system in the world, including much of religious thought.  They might ask how I could possibly see such an (apparently) aberrant world-view as anything but a curse.

Upon reflection, I find it extraordinary that the Truth is aberrant to people.  We would rather see a world of opposites, with mysterious bad things happening without a source.  We would rather believe that bad stuff really does happen, and then try to forgive it even while we think it's real.  Do we think God creates bad things and punishes us?  Or do we think we somehow usurped the power of God and created it ourselves?!  Do we think all this crap is really happening?  And if it is really happening, what allegiance do we owe to a divine Parent who would treat us this way, or even allow it to exist as creator of all?  If it were an earthly parent, we would report them for child abuse.  But friends, God is the All-Good.  God is the Source of All, and All is Love and Light and Truth.  Where would the darkness or the mistakes come from?  What would be their source? 

"There are not different kinds of life, for life is like the Truth.  It does not have degrees.  It is the one condition in which all that God created share.  Like all His Thoughts, it has no opposite.  There is no death because what God created shares His life.  There is no death because an opposite to God does not exist.  There is no death because the Father and the Son are one." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook 167, 1:1-7

There is no opposite to God... there cannot be God and anything.  Why would we not find this Truth comforting?  Why do we prefer a dream of opposition to God, of illusory suffering and death, of struggle and lack and limitation?  In India they call this compulsive dream 'samsara', which roughly translates to the wheel of suffering.  The wheel turns, the characters and situations seem to change, but the stories are all the same.  And every awakened soul who has walked this dream has come to tell us that it's our dream, and it's up to us to snap out of it.  With such good news, wouldn't we rather be happy than right?

A Course in Miracles offers simple yet elegant tools to awaken from the dream.  But we have to be willing to shed our fixation with the world as real.  It is not.  Often I awaken from my night time dreams to hear the Voice reassuring me that these dreams are just like my daytime dreams, and all of them are easily released and transformed.  This has been my experience.  There is no order of difficulty in miracles because only God is real, and nothing else is at all.  There is no hierarchy of illusions, and there are no steps to take to awaken.  Mind is asleep and believing its own dreams or it is awake in God.  And only one of these seeming choices really exists at all. 

While we dream, forgiveness and Atonement allow our dreaming perceptions to be healed and released, day by day.  More and more we walk through our life as one awakening from a deep sleep, where the dreams make no sense at all.  There is no real curse to be found, anywhere.  There is only our true Self in God, and endless blessing. 

"Let us today be children of the Truth, and not deny our holy heritage.  Our life is not as we imagine it." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook 167, 10:1-2

The Will to Awaken

"The real world is the state of mind in which the only purpose of the world is seen to be forgiveness.  No rules are idly set, and no demands are made of anyone or anything to twist and fit into the dream of fear.  Instead, there is a wish to understand all things created as they really are.  And it is recognized that all things must first be forgiven, and then understood." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 30, Section V, 1:1 & 4-6

I've been thinking a lot this year about the seeming process of awakening, and the shedding of the false self that is required.  As St. Paul put it, "I die daily" so that "I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me."  This beautiful thought is beloved in Christianity, but is also largely revered as a poetic and idealistic sentiment, not as a literal process that requires our willingness.  Even those charismatic Christians who see it as literal still hang on to the notion of a little self that is saved by the God/Man, Jesus Christ.  They don't see that this simply perpetuates their false view of themselves as separate from God, weaker and imperfect. 

And whose will was it that these imperfect creatures exist?  Certainly not God, Who creates all things in His Holy Mind and so eternally extends HimSelf.  The Spirit of God did not and could not create imperfection.  How could the imperfect exist in the absolute harmony and perfection of God, the eternally One and Whole?  So what seems imperfect must be an imperfect perception only, a false sense of what eternally IS.  

The will to awaken is the willingness to constantly release each and every perception that arises, and give it to the part of our mind that remains aware of our eternal Oneness with God... the Holy Spirit.  This is what forgiveness is... and this is the process of Atonement, the interlocking chain of forgiveness that results in the Awakening of the One Son of God, even within the dream separation.

So what is the will to awaken?  And why do so very few seem to have it?  ACIM tells us that "The Call is universal.  It goes on all the time everywhere.  Many hear it, but few will answer.  Everyone will answer in the end, but the end can [seem] a long, long way off." -- (ACIM; Manual for Teachers 1.2:4-5 & 7-9)  In other words, we have a vested interest still in the dream.  After all, it's our dream... and we continue to question how these very beautiful and desirable parts could need our forgiveness and release.  Can't we just forgive all the bad stuff and keep these parts we like, the parts that we're comfortable with, the parts that speak to us of tradition and continuity within the dream?

Our teacher and guide is uncompromising.  Jeshua said, "A man must lose his life in order to save it."  Yikes.  This is not what our egos want to hear. 

How do we find the will to awaken?  How do we release the mental resistance that flails about and questions our very sanity?  I'd like to tell you there's an easy way through this passage, but the Truth is that the only way out is through.  You will pass through this fire, and you will not be burned. 

On the other side of all seeming turmoil is the perfect peace of realizing that there never was a problem... we have always been right here, safe in God.  On this side, we simply keep giving our perceptions to the Holy Spirit and following the directions of the Voice within.  This perfect trust will be reinforced as we are willing to follow the Holy Spirit's Voice instead of our own fearful imaginings.  Forgive and follow the Voice.  Forgive and follow the Voice.  This is the will to awaken.

"A major hindrance in this aspect of learning is the teacher of God's fear about the validity of what he hears.  And what he hears may indeed be quite startling.  It may also seem to be quite irrelevant to the presented problem as he perceives it, and may in fact confront the teacher with a situation that appears to be very embarrassing to him.  All these are judgments that have no value.  They are his own, coming from a shabby self-perception which he would leave behind." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 21. 5:1-5

The Undoing of What Never Was

"Salvation is undoing." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 31, Section VI, 2:1

"Perception has no function in God, and does not really exist.  Yet in salvation, which is the undoing of what never was, perception has a mighty purpose.  Healed perception becomes the means by which the Son of God forgives his brother, and thus forgives himself." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook 43, 2:2-3, 7

I'm experiencing a season of molting.  Like a bird shedding feathers that no longer serve, or perhaps more like a snake that sheds the skin that no longer fits.  It's an odd experience at times, disorienting and hazy, like everything's out of focus.  Of course, it is out of focus.  False projections and perceptions no longer serve the holy purpose of Awakening, and so they get fuzzy as they fall away.  They never were real, and their unreality is becoming more apparent.

There is a comforting awareness that as I become less, the Truth of Self becomes more apparent... or as St. Paul said, "I live... and yet not I, but Christ liveth in me."  The face of Christ can't be seen in me until the fiction of me subsides and dissolves the veil of illusion.  This dissolution of the false self, of the constellation of stories and mental constructs that I used to call 'me', is the ongoing process of salvation, which A Course in Miracles calls the Atonement.

What's interesting (to whom?) is that the fiction carries on, but in service to this Awakening.  I still appear the same.  I still have relationships with family and friends and lovers and clients who know little or nothing about this inner process, since I don't talk about it, and they're really not interested in that aspect of my life.  And anyway, what would I say to them?  I'm not who you think I am?  I'm not really here?  You're not either?  The very essence of this great undoing is that I don't have to decide what to say or to whom... I don't have to do anything.  I am lived and breathed and spoken and sung and loved and cherished.  I am happy, an unshakeable happiness that has nothing to do with anything, and yet it includes everyone and everything, including the seeming discomfort of the molting process called salvation.

The undoing of Mary, of what never was, is the happiest of fictions.  And who am I writing this to?  God only knows.  If you seem to be reading this, then you're probably experiencing the great undoing, too.  You may still be in the egoic, kicking and screaming phase.  But fear not... when peace and sanity return to your awareness (they never left!), you will rest in quiet joy, in the midst of the undoing of what never was.

"Salvation is undoing in the sense that it does nothing, failing to support the world of dreams and malice.  Thus it lets illusion go.  By not supporting them, it merely lets them quietly go down to dust.  And what was hidden is now revealed." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook Part II, 2. 3:1-4       

Begin Again in 2010

Here we are, beginning again in the circle of time.  I invite anyone who is interested to join in the ongoing study of A Course in Miracles which begins again on Wednesday, January 6, 2010.  You can always get updated information about the calls on my website, at http://www.sundarya.com/ACIMteleclasses.htm.  Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.  And so we begin again.

Beginners mind is a mind that has released its need to know.  Beginners mind is a mind that has emptied itself of past associations, so it can see Reality as it is.  Beginners mind, the innocent mind, is the return to zero, to nothing... and then everything that emerges from this sacred space is pure Inspiration from Source, from our True Self, from God.  As we are willing to let go of everything, of all our human constructs and identities, they are translated and transformed into instruments of Light.

A Course in Miracles begins with these statements of Principle: "There is no order of difficulty in miracles.  One is not 'harder' or 'bigger' than another."  (ACIM; Chapter 1, Section I, 1:1-2) This means there is no human identity or concept that cannot be released and therefore translated, no human experience that will not become a miracle when it is forgiven and all past meanings released.  There is no order of difficulty, and therefore there are no exceptions.  "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." (The Bible; Isaiah 1:18)  This is reasonable; this is rational; this is Principle.

"Miracles are part of an interlocking chain of forgiveness which, when completed, is the Atonement.  Atonement works all the time and in all dimensions of time." (ACIM; Chapter 1, Section I, 25:1-2)  No exceptions, and omni-directional, omni-dimensional.  No exclusions.  And so this completed chain of forgiveness leaves us washed clean, erased of human concepts, white as snow.  Beginners mind.

"Miracles represent freedom from fear.  'Atoning' means 'undoing.'  The undoing of fear is an essential part of the Atonement value of miracles." (ACIM; Chapter 1, Section I, 26:1-3)  And so the miracle is the undoing of what never was... the erasing of illusory and transient memories and concepts from the mind... and we find in the sacred space the miracle of beginners mind, and the Freedom and Love of our True Self.

"Miracles honor you because you are loveable.  They dispel illusions about yourself and perceive the Light in you.  They thus atone for [undo] your errors by freeing you from your nightmares.  By releasing your mind from the imprisonment of your illusions, they restore your sanity." (ACIM; Chapter 1, Section I, 33:1-4)  Released from past associations, from the many memories and stories that populate our split mind... released from all self-concepts, we find our Self again.  This is my prayer for us all as we begin again in 2010. 

"Spirit is in a state of Grace forever.  Your reality is only Spirit.  Therefore you are in a state of Grace forever." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 1, Section III, 5:4-6

One Son

"It should especially be noted that God has only one Son.  If all His creations are His Sons, every one must be an integral part of the whole Sonship.  Any part of the Sonship can believe in error or incompleteness if he so chooses.  However, if he does so, he is believing in the existence of nothingness.  The correction of this error is the Atonement." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 2, Section VII, 6:1-2, 7-9

"Our emphasis is now on healing [God's Son].  The miracle is the means, the Atonement is the principle, and healing is the result." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 2, Section IV, 1:1-2

As a coach and spiritual director, every single client I have ever worked with has mirrored this one error... and according to every spiritual tradition, it's our only error.  The split mind that results from believing ourselves to be separate from God and each other and all creation... this fragmented perception is the source and sum of all the problems we think we have.  We're always focused on the fragments, on what is irreparable... "and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again."  It's not possible to 'fix' what amounts to fictional perceptions.  Just as it's not possible to 'fix' the delusional perceptions of the mentally ill.  What heals them is the dawning awareness that they are delusional. 

ACIM reminds us that all of this belief in our own fragmented perception is the belief in magic.  "The whole distortion that made magic rests on the belief that there is a creative ability in matter which the mind cannot control.  This error can take two forms; it can be believed that the mind can miscreate in the body, or that the body can miscreate in the mind.  When it is understood that the mind, the only level of creation, cannot create beyond itself, neither type of confusion need occur." (ACIM; Chapter 2, Section IV, 2:8-10)  The Course calls the correction of these errors the miracle, and the principle on which all this is based is the Atonement, our Oneness with our Source.  This Oneness is principle, unchanging, the rock on which the healing of all our holy minds depends.

There is a Light in each of us that can be seen and remembered.  The way to return to this wholeness of perception is through the regular, habitual forgiveness and release of our false perceptions, and the habitual asking for the miracle of true perception instead.  This is the willingness to see through the eyes of Christ.  It's through seeing the Light in each other, and in every aspect of creation, that we again see the face of Christ, the One Son of God, in all things.  "The Atonement can only be accepted within you by releasing the inner Light." (ACIM; Chapter 2, Section III, 1:1)

We are One Son... the very Light of God, pure Spirit, safe in the Mind of God, as are all things.  

"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 30, Section III, 8:4

Unshakable Awareness of Being

"Truth neither moves nor wavers nor sinks down to death and dissolution. And what is the end of death? Nothing but this; the realization that the Son of God is guiltless now and forever. Nothing but this. But do not let yourself forget it is not less than this." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers, 27.7:6-10

One of my teachers, Gangaji, once said that her teacher's favorite sayings were, "Keep quiet," and "Give up the search." She explained that the Truth of Being can only be known when we stop looking for it or trying to explain it. It already IS, and always has been, and always will be... changeless, deathless, guiltless, and forever One.

Is it really possible to have a true experience of this Oneness? You already have had, you already do. How could you not have what you already ARE? You simply have discounted and minimized this Awareness, rather than valuing It as the Truth of Being. Instead, you've valued and focused on the fragmenting experiences of everyday life. Instead, if you're like the rest of us, you continue to value and focus on what you think you should be valuing and focusing on, according to other people and their opinions. All of this is arbitrary, depending on social and religious constructs and other mental machinations... including so-called spiritual ones. None of it is true. All of it is for forgetting and maintaining an illusion of separateness and specialness, including the illusion of spiritual progress and spiritual pride. Forgiveness, the deliberate releasing of all these mental constructs of value and reality, is for Remembering. Forgiveness, the realization that none of it is true, is the end of the world as we know it. Forgiveness, the Awareness that our Self is eternal and innocent and free, is the end of death.

Have you ever looked through a book of 3-D pictures? You can't see both the graphics of the maze and the hidden 3-D picture at the same time. You can't remain Aware of Self while continuing to value and believe your own dreams. As Jesus said, a man can't serve two masters. Choose this day whom you shall serve. Jesus' advice was and is the most practical and literal advice we can find. He wasn't speaking platitudes. Even when he spoke in parables he was pointing to the Reality beyond. His unshakable Awareness of Being, his uncompromising Oneness with God is the model for all of us. And his advice is that forgiveness, the continual releasing of all that appears to be real in the dream, is how we return to Awareness of Oneness, of Self.

We are non-dual Being walking in a dream of duality. To walk in this dream but not be of it, our allegiance must be to the Reality of Oneness. Hence the first commandment, "Hear, O Israel; the Lord our God is ONE: and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Jesus said the only other law that matters is, "Love your neighbor as your Self." (The Bible; Mark 12:29-31) Stay mindful of Oneness. Stay mindful of Self. Continue forgiving and seeing the nothingness of anything that appears special or separate. Remain in the blissful and unshakable Awareness of Being.

"What is the Resurrection? It is a reawakening, or a rebirth, a change of mind about the meaning of the world. It is the relinquishment of all other purposes, all other interests, all other wishes and all other concerns. Vision is wholly corrected and all mistakes undone. There is now no opposition to the Truth. The Son of God is free." -- A Course in Miracles; Manual for Teachers 28.1:2,9; 3:3,11; 4:3

Need/Obligate

"There is no miracle you cannot give, for all are given you. Receive them now by opening the storehouse of your mind where they are laid, and giving them away. Christ's Vision is a miracle. Christ's Vision is the miracle in which all miracles are born." -- A Course in Miracles; Lesson 159, 2:4-5, 3:1, & 4:1

"The substitution of the spiritual for the material definition elucidates the meaning." -- Mary Baker Eddy

I love the lessons our dreams provide us, always dreams of forgiveness. Forgiving the material, apparent meanings we have superimposed on Reality... and remembering once again the Allness of God and our eternal Oneness with all Good.

In the above quotes from A Course in Miracles, it's easy to see ourselves doling out physical or fiscal miracles in the world... in the self-aggrandizement of our egos, we co-opt the meaning of miracles to suit our belief in the material. So it's really, really important to remember that only the spiritual meaning of the word miracle applies, ever. Notice the above quote talks about opening the storehouse of our mind. A miracle is always and forever healed perception, and always involves a shift from the separated, material illusion to seeing through the eyes of pure Spirit, our Oneness with God, which ACIM calls the Atonement, Christ's Vision.

Our egoic, separated, illusory self sees every act of giving as an act somehow for itself. This is why Jesus urged us not to let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. We haven't really done anything by giving a material thing or substance, or even by giving bodily acts of service. There's certainly nothing wrong with them... but there is also nothing right about them. This belief in martyrdom and self-sacrifice is all an egoic tool, part of the story in the endless, serial dream of separate bodies and their nonsensical heroic journeys.

Over and over I have seen, in my own dream and the dreams around me, this co-opting of the idea of love by the ego. It's really just the "I'll scratch your back and you scratch mine" mentality, thinly disguised with platitudes and pseudo-spirituality. Real Love IS. It needs nothing, and yet gives everything by simply BEING. It doesn't give out of need, or out of pity. It doesn't give out of a feeling of guilt. It doesn't give in the usual sense at all... It simply IS, and so it radiates and overflows with Abundance of Being. This Abundance of Being is what reflects in the dream as needs being met. It is not need/obligate. It needs no recognition and no return on investment.

I know what it's like to be lost in a dream of lack and loss. I know what it's like to feel like there is absolutely nowhere to turn. And I also know what it's like to awaken from that dream... and I know what it's like to feel so very much gratitude for that very dream, and the Awakening it facilitated.

Yesterday in church, the benediction was unusual, but so appropriate: "May you know hunger and thirst and lack, so that you may know the Abundance of God." A blessing paraphrased straight from the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus didn't say "Blessed are the manifesters," or "Blessed are those who demonstrate abundance in the world." He said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." As Mary Baker Eddy pointed out, it's always and only the spiritual meaning that is true. The spiritual meaning of the experience of lack is the blessing of our true hunger and thirst for Awakening, without a story. It's not physical, and it's certainly not fiscal. And it's only when we give up the outer search for fulfillment of any kind (with all its rationales) that the true meaning of giving and receiving becomes apparent, within Self, with absolute freedom... and need/obligate becomes an archaic relic from a bygone era.

"Christ's Vision is the bridge between the worlds. And in Its power can you safely trust to carry you from this world into one made holy by forgiveness. Things which seem quite solid here are merely shadows there; transparent, faintly seen, at times forgot, and never able to obscure the Light that shines beyond them. Holiness has been restored to Vision, and the blind can see. This is the Holy Spirit's single gift; the treasure house to which you can appeal with perfect certainty for all the things that can contribute to your happiness." -- A Course in Miracles; Workbook Lesson 159, 5:1-4, & 6:1

Revelation

"We love Him because He first loved us." -- The Bible; 1 John 4:19

"Revelation is literally unspeakable because it is an experience of unspeakable Love." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 1, Section II, 2:7

I had an experience of revelation this week. I do not use that word lightly. It's impossible to put this into words, but I am compelled to try.

I was hiking in the woods, climbing up to the bluffs that are a favorite meditation spot, cherishing the silence and companionship with my dogs and with God. And the passage from 1 John popped into my head, as it often does... but this time with a kind of stopping... everything slowed and stopped. And I saw the inseparability of it. God said I AM, and we came into being. He first loved us. We say I am, and affirm that Love, when we remember Who We Are.

To imply that God said, "I am Mary" and that I then say "I am God" and that's all there is to it, sounds ridiculous. God is no respecter of persons, certainly not of any ego. But there is a mystery here that transcends ego, and it has to do with God's name, I Am.

In my moments of revelation, of complete absorption in Love ItSelf, it was obvious to me that the emanation from God as I AM and the reflection of my seemingly individual I am are simultaneous and inseparable. He first loved us by BECOMING us. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting Life." The Bible; John 3:16

This has nothing to do with some personal messiah complex, or even with believing in Jesus as the Son of God. This has everything to do with who we think we are. If we realize and accept that we are the offspring of God, remembering this is our salvation. If we think we are the physical offspring of a flawed and suffering world, we are lost, self-condemned to the illusion of physical suffering and death.

God said, "I Am That I Am." He first Loved us. We say "I am," and take the name of the Lord in vain, unless we remember Who We Are. We are, collectively, the only begotten Son of God. This is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

"God has not many Sons, but only One. Who can have more, and who be given less? God gave you all there is. And to be sure you could not lose it, did He also give the same to every living thing as well. And thus is every living thing a part of you, as of HimSelf." -- A Course in Miracles; Chapter 29, Section VIII, 9:1-2 & 7-9

The Circle of Atonement

"The Circle of Atonement has no end. Joy is Its unifying attribute, with no one left outside. The Power of God draws everyone to Its safe embrace of Love and Union. Stand quietly within this Circle, and attract all tortured minds to join with you in the safety of Its Peace and Holiness. Judge not except in this Quietness which is not of you." -- A Course in Miracles

Quietness that is not of me. Quietness that has Joy as its unifying attribute. Quietness that is Love and Oneness ItSelf. This all-embracing, inclusive stillpoint, the Oneness that We Are, is the Atonement. A Course in Miracles tells us that "everyone has a special part to play in the Atonement, but the message given to each one is always the same; God's Son is guiltless. Your only calling here is to devote yourself, with active willingness, to the denial of guilt in all its forms."

There are several unequivocal points here. When it says 'your only calling here,' there is no way this can be misinterpreted. Only means only. And when it says that calling is to devote oneself, devotion means complete and utter commitment. And when it says with active willingness, it closes the backdoor (the con of separating the earthly life from Truth) that the ego likes to keep open. Active willingness means active in all parts of one's imagined life, not just the occasional foray into Truth. So here, in this one sentence, is it all laid out in perfect simplicity and clarity. My only calling in this world is to devote my heart, mind, soul, and strength (and all other imagined resources) to knowing the Innocence and Oneness of All, and thereby remembering God, my One Self. This is the Atonement. And this is why ACIM says over and over and over that forgiveness is my only function here. Only the mind that has released all imagined grievances can see the Truth... that All is One and forever Innocent and Free of anything unlike Love.

So we have the answer to the great preoccupation of the ego: what am I supposed to do? And we are given clear instructions to "judge not except in quietness which is not of you." So we know that our job is the easiest one in the world... to forgive, to release, and to listen to the Voice for God. Everything else is given us.

The hard part is the devotion and active willingness. We have given our devotion and our willingness to the world of illusions for so long it has become an ingrained, conditioned pattern of behavior. And it takes great willingness to shift your entire world; heart, mind, soul, and strength; your entire devotion and all your resources; your entire identity. Again, you don't have to DO it... in fact, who you think you are is incapable of it. As we are told, we DO have to be actively willing to turn our entire world over to the Voice for God, and to devote our world to this. And we DO have to be willing to listen and follow the Voice. The willingness to forgive and release it all and to follow the Voice... this is our only calling and function. Period.

You and I are the hands and feet and voice of the Atonement... every minute of every day we are willing to forgive, release, and listen to the Voice. You don't get a more important purpose and calling than this. Our willingness to be true to this and only this is crucial. Together, we ARE the Circle of Atonement.

"Merely by Being What It Is, does Truth release you from everything that It is not. The Atonement is so gentle you need but whisper to It, and all Its Power will rush to your assistance and support. You are not frail with God beside you. Yet without Him you are nothing." -- A Course in Miracles

Atonement

"There is but One Life, and that Life is infinite and eternal. There is only One Soul, your Soul, which is 'closer than breathing, nearer than hands or feet.' You are that place where God shines. You are infinite. In realizing your true identity, you have no longer a selfish motive. You have nothing to get. Your purpose is simply to Be the Light." -- Joel Goldsmith

"The Atonement can only be accepted within you by releasing the inner light." -- A Course in Miracles

The concept of atonement has been misused in the world, like everything else the separated mind imagines. It has become a symbol of sacrifice and suffering. No wonder so many of us fear both the word and the concept behind it.

As ACIM explains it, the Atonement is the return of our right mind, the mind that lives and moves and has its Being only in God, and has never been anywhere else. The Atonement principle is the returning of our attention and devotion and will and imagination to their true Source within, so that whatever extends or projects from our Being reflects and radiates only the Truth, even in the midst of illusions. Our purpose is to BE this Light. Not to have it or become it... we already are it. Our purpose is to remember and BE as God created us.

To simplify this even more, ACIM says, "The miracle is the means, the Atonement is the principle, and healing is the result." The miracle is accomplished always and only by the forgiving of all illusions, good, bad, beautiful, ugly... all. This is done through the principle of the Atonement, which is that we have always been and always will be One with God, All-in-All. The remembering of this Truth and the letting go of everything else is the healing, and will always reflect within the illusion of life as what ACIM calls the Happy Dream of the Holy Spirit. Which has nothing to do with who, what, or where.

The Happy Dream is the state of Oneness that is our true Home... and whatever seems to appear is gravy. As Jeshua ben Joseph puts it, "Seek first the Kingdom, and all else will be added unto you." I love the humor in this. And what else would there be?

"The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself. This means you recognize that mind is the only creative level, and that its errors are healed by the Atonement. Once you accept this, your mind can only heal." -- A Course in Miracles